Toxic Thoughts
by CriminalOutsider'sGirl14
Summary: "She presses the knife to her skin and watches the blood run out of her vein and down her arm. She presses toilet paper to the cut. She rinses the knife off and watched the water turn red." There's a new girl in Tulsa. People say that she's insane but Pony sees a kid who was hit too many times. What happens when he tries to befriend her? Can he help this girl?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Toxic Thoughts**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. Sigh. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 **Trigger warning. Self harm, suicidal thoughts, anorexia, bulimia, abuse, drugs, and maybe alcohol abuse in later chapters.**

 **Characters thoughts/actions do not represent my thoughts and beliefs.**

 _Her hands are shaking in front of her. She can feel her whole body trembling. She can see everything around her, but had no idea what was going on. She feels as if she is suffocating, the walls were closing in around her. She could hear her heart pounding in her chest and her quick, shallow breathing in her ears. She has nowhere to run, no way to escape._ How could something so real be only inside her head?

 **Ponyboy's POV**

"Hey, Darry," I called as I walked inside. Behind me Two-Bit slammed the door. _Something smells delicious_ , I thought.

"Hey, Ponyboy." Darry greeted me as he stirred chili. I stuck my finger in the chili and licked it. Darry smacked my hand, but I just grinned.

"Stay out of the chili. How was school?" He asked me.

"But it's so good. I got a 97% on my math test," I told him.

"What about me, Darry?" Two-Bit put a hand over his heart, feigning hurt. "I got a 47 on _my_ math test."

Darry hit Two-Bit in the head with a wooden spoon. He yelped dramatically.

"Wash up, Ponyboy.

You too Two-Bit. Sodapop and Steve should be here pretty soon and dinner will be ready in about five minutes," Darry commanded us.

 _Her dinner is sitting in her stomach. Guilt washes through her. She can feel herself gaining weight. She turned on the shower and leans over the toilet. She sticks her finger down her throat and dinner rushes up her throat. A piece of her blond hair slips out of her bun and falls in front of her face as she vomits. Satisfied that she would not gain any weight, she flushes the toilet and hops into the shower._

 **A/N: I'm sorry this is short. The other chapters will be much longer. Please review.**

 **Aufenthalt Gold,**

 **~Alee**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Rumor Has It**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. Sigh. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 _She takes a sharp knife out of her suitcase. She stares into the mirror, feeling in control. She presses the knife to her skin and watches the blood run out of her vein and down her arm. The numbness subsides over her as she presses_ _toilet paper to the wound. She rinses the knife off and watched the water turn a deep red. She takes a steadying deep breath and exits the bathroom as if nothing just happened_.

 **Ponyboy's POV**

"Pony, did you hear about the new girl?" Johnny asked me quietly. Fifth period had just ended and we were walking towards the lunchroom. Steve was at school today and Soda wasn't at the DX today, so we were at the lunchroom today.

"I heard that she just got out of a mental hospital," Two-Bit told us. Johnny shook his head.

"I heard she was abused until she was eleven and she just got adopted. Some people have been saying she's anorexic," Johnny informed us quietly.

"She a Soc?" Two-Bit asked.

"Naw, greaser I think," I told them.

"I still heard she's insane," Two-Bit said. I was starting to get annoyed with him.

"Hey, Two-Bit, why don't you shut up? You got a big mouth," I snapped.

I stood up from the lunch table and grabbed two apple off of the table.

"What does she look like?" I asked. Johnny pointed to a girl who looked to be twelve or thirteen, but had to be in high school.

I walked over to her table. She was sitting with her head down and her thin send were wrapped around her stomach. She was extremely thin. She had long, dirty blond hair down to her back and it was pulled back into a limp ponytail and freckles, but I couldn't see her eyes.

"Anybody sitting here?" I asked in a cheerful voice, gesturing to the table. She looked up at me with clear green eyes.

"What's your name?" I asked.

"Chrissy," she mumbled. I smiled at her.

"That's a cool name. My name's Ponyboy." She looked at me questionably.

"Is that your real name?" She asked. It wasn't mocking, just curious.

"Yeah," I admitted.

"That's cool," she told me. I grabbed the apple I had set on the table.

"Want an apple?" I asked. She shook her head.

"No thanks."

"Come on, you aren't eating anything," I tried, but she was stubborn about not eating.

 _"Some people have been saying she's anorexic."_ I remember Johnny mentioning that she was anorexic, but I thought that was just a rumor. Still, I watch her as I take a bite out of my apple.

 **Aufenthalt Gold,**

 **~Alee**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: WWII Project**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. Sigh. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 **I'm going to be preachy author for a moment. If you struggle with depression, anxiety, anorexia, cutting, or are being abused, please tell someone. There are places to help. You aren't alone.**

 _She doesn't know what to do. His voice still rings in her head, promising things he'll never deliver. She heard her breath quickening. He left her alone, broken into a million pieces. Her safety net, her sanity, it's gone. He's gone. She can't handle it. She goes into the bathroom. Carl and Anita are both out of the house, which is the perfect time to cut. She repeats the familiar process. Each cut represents a knife someone stabbed through her heart._

 **Ponyboy's POV**

I dread who my partner may be. We're teaming up with the Freshmen to do a project in History about WWII.

"... Ponyboy and Christina. Julie and David..." I didn't listen to the rest of the names, I just smiled and Chrissy and thanked the heavens that she's my partner. She didn't smile, but offered a small wave. I went over to her desk and pulled up a chair.

"I was thinking we could do a poster about World War Two," I started.

"Maybe we could make a swastika and a Star of David out of paper mâché?" She suggested.

I nodded eagerly. "That would be really cool. We can use pipes to make the Star of David. Do you want to come over to my place tonight and work on it?" I asked. I wrote down my address just in time before the bell rang and I had to hurry out of there in time to change for Physical Education.

 **X**

"Darry, is it okay if I have a friend over for a project?" I asked.

"Sure. Who is it?" Darry asked. Two-Bit grins.

"Is it a girl?" He asked. I felt my cheeks grow warm.

Darry chuckled. "What's her name?"

"Her name's Chrissy Brown and it's just for a project," I said, shooting daggers at Two-Bit, daring him to say something.

I heard a soft knock on the door. Darry answered it and Chrissy walked inside. She was wearing what she wore to school. It was a pink sweater dress, a leather jacket, bright red lipstick, and her hair was crimped and pulled back into a high ponytail.

"Hey, Ponyboy. You ready?" She asked. I nodded and walked to my room, but Darry stopped me.

"Door stays open," he told me. I glared at him, my cheeks turning red, and followed Chrissy to my room, making sure to leave the door wide open.

"I grabbed a few World War Two books on the way here," she said, grabbing her bag and pulling out two books. For the next few hours we read the books and jotted down important facts to write on the poster board until Darry came in.

"You want to stay for dinner, Chrissy?" Darry asked.

"No thanks, Mr. Curtis. I gotta get home," she responded. "See ya later Pony."

"Yeah. Tomorrow we need to work on the paper mâché, so make sure you where short sleeves," I reminded her. An odd look flashed across her face before she nodded and left.

 **Aufenthalt Gold,**

 **~Alee**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Project for One**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. Sigh. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 _She had a good day with her friend. Friend; the word is foreign to her. She knows the good won't last for long and the high will soon wear off. The flashbacks come back and she hears his voice. She's losing control. She needs control. So she cuts. It's a routine, it's familiar. She knows what to do, how to hide it. Short sleeves are out of the question._

 **Ponyboy's POV**

"Ponyboy?" A hoarse and stuffy voice asked over the phone. I didn't recognize the voice at first.

"Yeah?" I questioned.

"It's Chrissy. I'm sorry, I can't come today. I'm really sick," she told me, as if it wasn't obvious from her voice.

"It's alright. I'll start on the Star of David today," I assured her.

"I'll work on the Swastika while I'm home. Thanks," she finished.

"No problem, feel better," I said casually to her.

"Thanks. Bye."

I slam the phone down, feeling oddly upset. I had to build this thing on my own now.

 _It's not her fault for getting sick_ , I told myself and I knew that I was right.

Feeling glum, I took some old pipe that Darry had in the basement and used them to build the Star of David by making two triangles and gluing them together. I was putting on the first few pieces of paper mâché when Soda and Steve walked in.

"Whatchya making?" Steve asked. Steve walked over and pretended to kick it until I grabbed his foot and twisted it, in which he cursed and stumbled backwards in response.

"Star of David, for history," I explained.

"Where's your lady friend?" Steve asked.

"You mean my partner? She's sick," I told him. Steve nodded.

"Is it my turn to make dinner?" I asked.

"Yeah, but I got it. Keep working on your project before Darry gets home," Soda responded. I thanked him and went back to my project, listening to his and Steve's playful banter.

I finished the paper mâché just in time, as after I turned the fan on in my room to dry it, I heard Soda call me for dinner.

 _She curls herself in a ball and listens to the storm. The wind howls outside, but all she hears is the thunder. It sounds like his footsteps. Her breathing quickens and she feels the familiar come on. She 'forgot' to take her medicine this morning. She feels silent tears slip down her cheeks._

 **A/N: Sorry this is short. Suggestion?**

 **Aufenthalt Gold,**

 **~Alee**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Blank and Emotionless**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. Sigh. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 _She shakes out her anxiety pills and counts them one-by-one. Twenty-seven. Twenty-seven, little blue pills, so many possibilities. She's been contemplating what to do with them for a while, but for now she forgets to take them. She could do it now, but that would be too easy. She enjoys the pain. His voice comes back in her ear, taunting her. She quickly puts all twenty-seven pills back into the container._

 **Ponyboy's POV**

My face turned red listening to Two-Bit's version of Bucks last night. I looked at Johnny and noticed that his face was red too, and he was walking faster than normal. I was surprised to see Chrissy when I walked into class; I figured she would be off sick.

As I sat down I noticed that she looked awful. She looked as if she'd lost even more weight, which I didn't even think was possible, and she had deep bags under her green eyes.

When I sat down next to her she didn't seem to notice me, she just stared blankly ahead at the wall. I resisted the urge to wave my hand in front of her face.

"Still on for tonight at my house, or do you want me to come to your house?" I asked her.

"Your house is fine," she said emotionlessly. _At least her voice sounds better_ , I noted, but it was emotionless, which concerned me.

 **Third Person POV**

(Flashback)

 _He comes up behind her and wraps his arm around her. She loves the feeling, whenever she's in his arms she feels secure. She can smell the whiskey on his breath. Her heart begins to race in her chest._

 _"I think we should do this another time," she suggests nervously, but he's already forcing his mouth onto hers._

 _"I just want to have some fun," he tells her between kisses. He drags her into his room and takes off her clothes. She struggles, but he's too strong._

 _"I love you and I won't ever let you go," he assures her after he's done. She can barely hear his voice from crying too hard to hear him. He leaves her there, sobbing and naked._

 _He repeats this process the next week with another girl, the news eventually comes around to Chrissy._

End Flashback

 **A/N: Just to make everything clear, everything that has to do with Christine is in present tense. The flashback was her memory, but I wanted to keep it in present tense, but it happened a while ago. Sorry that this is short.**

 **Aufenthalt Gold,**

 **~Alee**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Tools, Cars, and Conversations**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. Sigh. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 _She feels his arms around her, suffocating her. Her breathing quickened as she struggled to break free, but he wouldn't let go. She knew that he was going to rape her again. She whirls around and sees that no one is there. She runs out of the room into the bathroom. She flicks out her switchblade from her pocket and slices into her skin, not once, not twice, but three times. Blood oozes out of the cuts and she watches it with interest. She presses the toilet paper to the cuts and wipes away the evidence before going back to her room to sleep, but sleep never comes._

 **Ponyboy's POV**

I set the casserole into the oven and set the timer. Darry should be home in an hour or two and Soda should be home at eight, so I needed to get dinner done. Plus Chrissy was coming over and Darry said that she could stay for dinner.

 _Knock, knock._

"Come in," I called. She opened the door and walker inside the small house. "You wanna go to the DX?" I asked.

"Sure," she answered.

It was a cold day out, the early January wind was howling and snow was falling. Chrissy shivered and wrapped her arms around herself. I took off my coat and wrapped it around her.

She tried to give it back to me, but I stopped her. "Hey, keep it, it's fine," I assured her. She smiled and thanked me, wrapping my old hand-me-down brown jacked around her frail body.

We walked into the DX and saw Steve under a shiny red '63 mustang. Soda was out in the front with customers.

"Hey, Soda, hand me three eighth drill bit, will ya?" Steve asked. Chrissy handed him the drill bit before I could.

"Soda, why'd you paint your nails?" Steve asked, slightly teasing as he rolled out from under the car and saw Chrissy.

"Hey, Pony," he greeted. "Who's your girlfriend and how does she know so much about cars?"

"I'm not his girlfriend. My name's Chrissy and I kinda like cars," she admitted. Steve whistled.

"She ain't your girl, Kid? Can I steal her, Evie doesn't know a wrench from a nail," he muttered. Chrissy smiled at him. I was shocked at how much she was talking and was comfortable with Steve.

"This is a tuff mustang, '63, right?" She asked. Her and Steve dove into a full on conversation about mustangs until Soda came around back and announced it was quitting time.

How stupid I was to think he would like me _, She thinks. She doesn't even know why she started taking to him. She can hear his voice in her head, telling her that no one would love her, that she is a failure and was worthless. She tries to block it out, but she couldn't escape his voice. She's drowning._

 **Aufenthalt Gold,**

 **~Alee**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Evie verses Chrissy**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. Sigh. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 _She presses the little blue pills into her palm until they leave odd shaped marks. She knows she needs to do it now, but something stops her. She laughs bitterly, because she knows why she hasn't done it yet; Steve, Sodapop, Ponyboy, and friends. It's only a matter of time, but for now she waits. She puts all twenty-seven pills back where they belong and waits for the right time to act._

 **Ponyboy's POV**

"Hey, Chrissy; Soda and Steve are going to the movies with their girls tomorrow. Wanna come along too and we can go together?" I asked over the phone.

"Sure, that'd be great. What time?" She asked.

"Seven. I'll pick you up at your house, but then we have to walk to the DX," I told her. As we talked I noticed that Chrissy's voice sounded lighter. She sounded happier than I'd seen her in a long time.

 **Evie's POV**

I was in the DX with Steve when Soda's kid brother walked in with some girl. _What was his brother's name_? _Pony_... _Ponyhorse something_... _Ponyboy_!

The girl immediately started talking to Steve about the car, and he seemed impressed. I stuck my hand out and plastered a fake smile on my face.

"Hi, my name's Evie, Steve's girlfriend." My smile turned into a sneer and she shrunk back immediately.

During the movie whenever an old car would come up she would ask Steve about it, and he would fill her in. Finally, I was fed up and decided that I needed to talk to her.

"Steve, I have to go to the bathroom. Come with me, Chrissy?" I asked. Sandy stood up.

"I'll come," she told me.

"I asked Chrissy," I felt bad when the look of hurt crossed my friend's face, but shook it off. I needed Chrissy alone.

"No thanks, I'm good," she answered timidly. I shrugged and sat down. I made it an effort the rest of the night to occupy all of Steve's attention.

I would make sure Chrissy stayed away from Steve, I decided.

 **Third Person POV**

Chrissy was walking home from school when she heard a car behind her. She cursed loudly, thinking it was the Socs, but when she turned around a few boys from Shepard's gang walked out of the car.

Bennett walked behind her while James and William cornered her from the front. James threw the first punch to her face, sending Chrissy stumbling slightly. She trembled in fear; flashbacks of her father beating her flashed in front of her eyes. She tried to appear tough as the blows came towards her. William punched and kicked her continually in the stomach. Finally, she doubled over in pain. James kicked her in the back once she was down. Each breath she took was shaky and sent pain coursing through her.

Black spots loomed over her vision. An evil grin spread across Bennett's face. He leaned down and grabbed Chrissy's leg, twisting it. She was unable to hold back a scream. She was breathing heavily when they finally quit.

"Message from Evelyn Scott; stay away from Steve." William spat on her before he, Bennett, and James walked away.

 **A/N: Suggestions for Chrissy's part? I'm thinking of doing some memories, idk what though. I will not be updating until Sunday or Monday. I MIGHT update one chapter tomorrow, I'm not sure. Sorry. I will try to be on to review some stories, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to do that.**

 **Aufenthalt Gold,**

 **~Alee**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Darry? Help, Please**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. Sigh. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 _She was six years old again. Her mom was bouncing her on her knee and talking to her dad. They didn't have much money and they live in a small trailer, but they were happy. Her mom doesn't know about the small bump near her breasts. Her mom doesn't watch her hair fall out daily with a sad expression and her dad isn't constantly worried. She doesn't even have any scars on her arms. She's a happy and carefree six year old, but it wouldn't to last very long._

 _After the diagnosis her dad starts drinking and after her mom dies her dad begins hitting her. When she was thirteen she was moved into a girl's home. After she entered seventh grade she began eating less and by the time she turned fourteen she was anorexic. She started cutting in eighth grade, but the suicidal thoughts and panic attacks didn't begin until her boyfriend raped her. She was adopted two months later, but nothing could save her now. No one could mend her broken heart; or so she thought._

 **Evie's POV**

I followed just behind Shepard's car all the way to Chrissy. I stayed a safe distance away until they left Chrissy on the ground. I slowly walked up to her and looked her over. Her entire body is bloody; her leg is twisted oddly and her breathing is shaky and weak. There was a deep cut across her forehead, and she had two black eyes, almost swollen shut. I almost didn't notice her arms, until I see her shirt is ripped, revealing scars and cuts up her entire arm. I shrieked.

"Oh my gosh! What a freak!" I exclaimed in a shocked voice. Chrissy coughed weakly and spat out blood. I jumped back, disgusted.

"Please, Evie, don't tell anyone," she begged in a whisper. I leaned down in her ear and growled menacingly.

"Stay away from Steve, and your secret is safe with me," I threatened.

 **Chrissy's POV**

 _She saw my scars! She saw my scars!_

I was in panic mode by then, but then Evie told me all I have to do is stay away from Steve. I wanted to reply, but I couldn't keep my eyes open. Everything is fuzzy and a peaceful blackness consumed my entire body.

 **Darry's POV**

As soon as I got in the truck I cranked the fan to allow the cold air to flow. I was driving home in the truck listening to music on the radio and caught a glance of something lying on the sidewalk. I turned the truck around to get a better look. I'm glad I did because they lump was someone familiar; it was Chrissy.

"Chrissy!" I shouted and ran to her. She didn't respond, only laid there. At first I thought she was dead, but I found a weak pulse. Chrissy's leg was twisted out at an angle; broken for sure. Her breathing was barely audible, there was a deep cut across her forehead. _That's going to need stitches,_ I thought, and she had two black eyes, and numerous cuts and bruises along her entire body.

"Don't die on me yet, Kid," I begged as I put her in the truck and began driving her home. "Please."

 **Aufenthalt Gold,**

 **~Alee**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Where's Chrissy?**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. Sigh. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 _Her world is a black hole. She is floating around meaninglessly, but then she sees a small light and she goes towards it. Memories flood around her and her life begins flashing before her eyes, literally._

 _She sees all the happy moments with her family before her Mom got sick. She sees all the times her Dad hits her and when her boyfriend betrayed her with her best friend. She sees her during her panic attacks and the moments spent in the bathroom when she cuts her arms. She sees the few weeks she spent with Ponyboy and Steve, having a normal life. She sees Evelyn Scott. She watches her adoptive parents when it was one of the good days. The memories disappear and everything is blank again. She's thrown into the real world violently as she slowly blinks, cracking open her eyelids._

 **Darry's POV**

"Hello, Mrs. Brown? This is Darrel Curtis," I greeted into the phone.

"Ponyboy's father?" she asked.

"Pony's brother," I corrected, not wanting to get the usual 'I'm so sorry', response when I tell someone my parents were dead. It's not that they don't mean it; I just don't want their pity.

"Have you seen Christine?" she asked; worry evident in her tone.

"That's what I was calling you about. I found her beat up about two miles from my house and she's on my couch right now. I've stitched up my friends"-I gestured to the goons listening in on our phone conversation-"so many times that I could probably be a doctor without ever going to school," I told her. She laughed, breaking the bleak mood this conversation had taken.

"Thank you so much. How much do I owe you?" she asked.

"Nothing, ma'am," I told her.

"Thank you, sonny," she said and I noticed relief evident in her voice.

"If I bring over Chrissy's anxiety pills, do you think you might be able to get her to take them?" she asked me.

"Sure." When I asked her about Chrissy's past, she paused for a moment.

"I'm not sure how much she's told you, but it's a long story," she explained. I listened as Mrs. Brown confessed that Chrissy is anorexic, was abused for many years, and was raped by her ex boyfriend not so long ago. I was in shocked horror.

I took a deep breath before Mrs. Brown spoke again.

"Will Chrissy be alright?"

"I hope so, ma'am," I responded honestly.

 **Chrissy's POV**

"Darry?" I was shocked at how hoarse and weak my voice sounded in my ears. Darry jolted up from his chair next to the couch. "What happened?" I asked softly.

"You don't remember? Evie hired some people to beat you up, Tim told us. He whipped his boys good and Steve talked to Evie. She confessed and they broke up," Darry told me carefully. "We were awfully worried," he admitted. I stared at the wall, feeling uncomfortable and sick. My head was pounding and soon that was all I heard as I phased out my surroundings. I faintly heard Darry tell me to go to sleep and I closed my eyes, trying to find relief. My eyelids were heavy, but I tried to fight them.

"Don't fight it, Chrissy, you need to sleep," Darry told me before my heavy eyelids succeeded.

 **A/N: I found a quick break to update, so here it is. Please review ㈵9**

 **Aufenthalt Gold,**

 **~Alee**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: Get Better, Kid**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. Sigh. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 _She shakes out the pills and counts them. Claire, her adoptive mother took her to the doctor yesterday where the doctor gave her these anxiety pills. She hates them, but if she doesn't take them, she's scared that her new parents may hurt her. She swallows the blue pill and feels the drug take action._

 **Steve's POV**

"You need to eat, sweetheart. It's not healthy," Darry informed her in a pleading but still firm and commanding voice.

"I'm not hungry. It's one meal, gosh, it won't kill me," she snapped.

"Chrissy, please," I tried to reason. She looked annoyed for a second before grabbing a piece of toast. She cut it up in fourths and then those pieces in half. Chrissy methodically chewed two small pieces before declaring again that she wasn't hungry.

She wrapped her arms around herself and shivered. I didn't know why; it wasn't even cold in here.

"Chrissy, take your medicine," Darry instructed.

"I'm not five years old ya know," she snapped, but took the pill from Darry anyway. Chrissy took a quick sip of water and tilted her head back, swallowing the small blue anxiety pill.

I couldn't help but stare at her. She had her back turned to me, talking to Two-Bit, but I could see every bone in her back, even through her baggy clothes. Even though it had been two weeks since she was beaten: that still hurt for me to think about, she still looked sick. She was pale and always looked like she never slept and her hands were almost always shaking. She was tired constantly and she normally wore a thick jacket but still complained she was cold.

Flashback

 _"Christine, eat," Darry commanded for the umpteenth time._

 _"I'm not a little kid and you're not my father, so stop acting like it!" She screamed and stormed out if the room. I watched as the screen door slammed and she ran into the bleak outdoors._

 _"I'll find her," I assured Darry._

 _I followed her all the way to the park. She was out of breath by the time we got there. She was throwing rocks at a pretty good distance towards me, but then again she had anger on her side._

 _"It's like I'm on lockdown, Steve; like I'm going to kneel over from starvation if I don't eat fattening things. I have no freedom, nothing. I hate it," she confessed. "I've gained three pounds since Claire found out. I'm fat and ugly."_

 _"Hey," I snapped, startling her, "you're the most beautiful girl I know. Who told you that, huh? It ain't true." Without thinking, I pressed my lips to hers. She was startled; any sudden movement seemed to startle her these days. She quickly kissed me back passionately. One of her hands was tangled in my hair and the other was around my back._

 _Loud throat clearing snapped me back to reality. I turned and saw an amused Two-Bit and a blank faced Darry. I grinned sheepishly._

 _"I found her," I tried. Darry smirk in amusement._

"I can see that."

 **A/N: Should this be a Chrissy/Steve?**

 **Aufenthalt Gold,**

 **~Alee**


	11. Chapter 11: AN

**A/N: Why is writing, that is suppose to be a stress reliever, so stressful? Why do immature people go on this site and attack people in PM's and reviews? Please be mature enough before you go on this site.**

 **As in a response to** **Guest** **(the one who just reviewed, not the positive ones** **)** **:**

 **If you hate me so much, why do you read my stories? You obviously know enough about Chrissy to say she's a Mary-Sue, but if you hate it so bad why read it? Also, I honestly don't care about your opinion. I care about the opinions of my faithful reviewers who I will always be grateful to. So stop reviewing.**

 **A new chapter will be up as soon as possible, I'm stuck right now on the direction of my story, but I hope to update soon. Suggestions would be amazing.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 11: Any Idea**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. Sigh. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 _She feels weak constantly. People hover over her and every sharp object is under lock and key. She feels trapped and suffocated. She can't cut, she can't skip meals, and she can't purge the food she's forced to eat. She stares at the pills. She swallows them dry, one-by-one. She loses count on how many she takes._

 **Chrissy's POV**

I opened up the rickety screen door to the Curtis's house and walked inside. Steve wrapped his arms around me as I sat down. I pushed away slightly and sneezed twice into my elbow.

Pony, who was sitting on the floor just below me, reached up and put his hand on my clammy forehead.

"Golly, Chrissy, you sure are burning up," he commented worriedly as Steve absentmindedly played with a strand of my hair.

"I'm fine," I assured them, but my hoarse voice and pale skin probably gave me away.

Steve got up and turned to me, planting a light kiss on my forehead. I tried not to stiffen at the familiar gesture.

"I gotta go to work, babe. See you later," he said as he left towards the DX. Two-Bit grinned cheekily.

"I shall call you guys Stissy and you shall have many kids!" Two-Bit shouted as if he had discovered the cure for cancer. I rolled my eyes as Pony threw a pillow at Two-Bit.

"Can it, Two," Pony griped.

"Maybe Cheve then," Two-Bit said thoughtfully.

"It sounds like a seasoning," I commented.

"Whatever. But seriously, Chrissy, you look sick," Pony said. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes again; my head was already pounding enough as it is.

"I'm going for a walk," I announced.

My stomach churned as I walked. I tried to focus on my walking, but each step I took paralleled to the pounding in my head.

I didn't notice how far I walked until I saw the DX. Steve was learning against the wall, smoking, and Evie was next to him with her head on his shoulder. Tears blurred my vision. _No_.

Where I was walking didn't register, everything around me was a swirling blob. The only thing on my mind was Evelyn Scott.

I somehow got to my house; at least I'm pretty sure it was my house. I went into the bathroom and shakily opened up the container of pills. I swallowed them dry and as fast as I could.

Everything began falling into place once I took the pills. My fate was sealed, but I had one more thing to do. With shaking hands, I wrote,

 _Dear Curtis' Gang,_

 _There's no easy way to explain all of this, but you deserve an explanation. I am so sorry. I can't handle it, I can't live with the flashbacks of Bob, my ex-boyfriend with his arms around me, and I can't live with everyone smothering me. I can't be in a relationship where I can't allow Steve to touch me, to hold me; it's all too familiar. I simply am not strong enough to live._

 _Tell Steve that I love him. Tell Pony that he was my first true friend who saw something besides my past and present scars. Tell Claire, 'I love you, mom', include 'mom', I've never called her that before. It was easier to say dad because replacing my real dad was easy, but mom was harder because my mother was a good person, Claire is too and tell her that. I can never thank her enough._

 _I thought I was getting better until Evie happened. You saw my scars and I couldn't take it. That's when Steve said he loved me and I felt better again. Then I saw him and Evie at the DX. Tell him that I may have only been a rebound relationship for him, but it was always real for me. I forgive you, Steve; I don't want to die hating you._

 _Most of all; please don't be angry with me. I love you all and I'm sorry._

 _Love always,_

 _Christine Anne Brown_

 **A/N: Was this any good? Believable? Thank you to BunnyLuvsU for the Cheve and Stissy! :)**


	13. Chapter 13

hey ya'll. my ipod possibly just broke, so i probably wont post for a while. please dont hate me, im sorry. stay Gold. im hoping my mom can fix it, otherwise i lost all my story ideas :(


	14. Chapter 14

My iPod lives guys! New chapter coming soon! Thanks for not hating me!


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 13: Chrissy**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. Sigh. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 _Even through her unconscious state she hears voices. She knows she's not dead, but she knows that she isn't alive either. Purgatory, possibly; she speculates. It's not like she'd imagined it would be like. She begins to place the voices; Darry, Steve, and Ponyboy. Before she can make out the words, the voices are gone._

 **Darry's POV**

Steve paced the small hospital waiting room, making me dizzy. Pony nervously bit his nails; an old habit I hated. I was always trying to break it, but after what happened it was a reminder that he was still alive, still Ponyboy.

Next to me sat Chrissy's adoptive parents. Mrs. Brown's mascara was smeared from tears and Mr. Brown's knee was bouncing nervously.

"Brown family?" The doctor called. Ponyboy's head snapped up.

"Hello. My name is Doctor Conners and I treated Christine," he introduced himself. I hope he realized that none of us cared what his name was, we were here for Chrissy.

"Christine is in ICU right now, but she is expected to make a full recovery," Dr. Conners assured us. I think I heard a collective sigh go through the crammed waiting room.

"Room 634, top floor. Family only visitation," Dr. Conners advised before leaving.

"Come on boys, your family," Mrs. Brown assured us. I allowed Steve and Ponyboy to go first so it wouldn't be so crowded.

 **Ponyboy's POV**

Chrissy looked rough. Her hair was in tangles and her face was pale. Machines surrounded her, suffocating her.

I couldn't believe that she did this to herself. Maybe some things are worse than death; this was painful, for everyone.

I looked over at Steve. His eyes shined with un-spilt tears. I put a comforting hand on his shoulder to steady him. He slowly eased into the chair next to Chrissy's bed.

"Hey Chissy," he choked out, his words strangled by the sobs that threaten to escape his lips.

"I love you. Evie's parents were fighting," he tried to explain, but he stopped and buried his head into his hands, embarrassed to be crying. He thought he killed Chrissy.

 **A/N: Sorry for taking so long on this chapter. It is unacceptably short, I am so sorry guys, honest.**

 ****Important: Alright boys and girls, greasers and Socs, I have a question. Should I end it next chapter with a recap of the future and start focusing my new story, a Steve/Evie romance story that I am super happy with, or should I make a sequel with Chrissy in the mental hospital. Tell me what you think by hitting that little review button down there. See it? Hit it. Good Job. XD**

 **Aufenthalt Gold,**

 **~Alee**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 14: Epilogue**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own "The Outsiders" or any of the Curtis' Gang. Sigh. The real owner of "The Outsiders" is my favorite author, the fabulous S.E. Hinton. I also do not make a profit from the stories that I write here on this site.**

 **A/N: If you like it, love it, or even if you hate it, you know what to do. Tell me in a review. I would love it if you favored, followed, and/or if you gave me (a) suggestion(s). Thank you. :)**

 **Chrissy:** Chrissy never fully trusts men again and she never marries, even after spending three years in the Tulsa Mental Institution she was released. She does however adopt a little girl who was abandoned in China in the late 1970's, who she named Clara Eleanor. She sent a letter to Evie telling her she forgave her in 1968.

 **Pony:** Ponyboy married Cherry Valace in 1972 and went on to write many bestsellers. He had four kids, all girls.

 **Steve:** Steve did eventually forgive Evie after talking to Chrissy. They never did date again. He was in Vietnam for three years and in 1971 Steve married Joyce, but never had any children. Joyce was sterile.

 **Thank you to:**

 **FrankElza**

 **BunnyLuvsU**

 **Johnnysletter**

 **JesterJessica**

 **GreaserG1rl201**

 **Staygold-fandom**

 **Guest (the kind ones)**

 **Dallas (Guest)**

 **Amanda (Guest)**

 **Porygon13 (Guest)**

 **CandyMouse22 (Guest)**

 **HawkeyeVengence (Guest)**

 **Octavianistwerking (Guest)**


End file.
